Chinese New Year.

Has been quite unproductive, got a few things done but overall have been lazing and playing Counter-strike 1.6 against bots. Went to a few open houses and got some ang pow and good food but overall the holidays just feel so dead. Haih, should really start on those electrical principles reports and start study for fluid mechanics and properties of materials but I feel so, so, so LIAT!

Jesus = Allah = Tuhan? What?

If you, like me, failed to catch up with what happened to the whole issue then this article is a must read.

MUST READ.

http://jebatmustdie.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/sensitiviti-umat-islam-dipijak-pijak/

best excuse to fail.

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’ s not only the passion…Dad, she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home.

Religious Intelligence.

Okay, here I am back again. I'd like to blame my absence on writer's block but I guess I'm also quite lazy.

Anyway, we kick off today's topic thanks to something 'interesting' i saw on facebook recently. There was a group named Malaysia Belongs to Jesus. Yes, you read the name correctly. First of all, I am not an anti-Christian as I am generally accepting of all religions and their followers given that none of them assault mine directly, by assault I mean, well, you get the picture. This group however made me quite agitated over a few things.

Their name already suggested something but the absurdity that followed was another. Its a Muslim country, even if we have secular leaders and a secular constitution the keyword there is Muslim. In Malaysia now we're campaigning for a so called 'One Malaysia' but the one thing that we cannot share is religion. Thus, we have to overcome this problem by respecting each other's beliefs and try our best not to make the other uncomfortable by any means. However, groups like this really aren't helping.

Referring to what agitated me was that these people blindly wrote on their wall to bless Israel and to forgive Malaysia for being against Israel. Now, what bible context asked them to rally with Israel? As you see, their level of insensitivity knows no bounds. Malaysia as a Muslim country of course is against the Zionist murderers and their bloodthirsty campaigns. Hell, even if you were a decent human being you'd be against what they were inflicting on the Palestinians but what about our wholehearted Christians here? They pushed it all aside to abide what was supposedly in their bible which I seriously doubt supports slaughterers.

This is where religious intelligence plays a key factor. Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism. Nobody is saying its bad to follow these religions but the degree of intelligence you carry while submitting yourself defines what kind of follower you are. Islam's hukum hudud states that a thief caught have both hands chopped off, this is true, however, the case must be studied from all aspects. If the thief is a mother who stole a tin of milk to feed her child who was suffering from malnutrition, she would be spared as she stole out of desperation. On the other hand, a man, fit and healthy to work, used his healthy body to commit a bank robbery to gain riches, he would have his hands chopped. Why? Because he most probably would have done it again. See how this would have deterred all the peragut beg in our country if the law was enforced properly? However, in a society where the law was poorly understood, the poor mother would have probably lost her hands. See how important religious intelligence is?

What I was getting at was If you look in the group I was referring to above, most of the people in it lack this intelligence and thus end up looking like, well, asses. So, as I end my note here, I would like to apologize to any of my Christian friends if you feel offended by anything I wrote here. If there is something offensive, please tell me as I'll alter it immediately. Cheerio.

funny article.(but so true)

So okay I’m racist (just a bit, I mean like really tiny)

AUG 12 — Apparently, I am somewhat a racist. You know, one of those folks who declare themselves "Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia" to signify the concept of a colour-blind Malaysia. You will never hear me say that. I prefer that my fellow countrymen have different colours; it's nice, reminds me of air batu campur, tasty, colourful and diabetic.

Now come on, we all like to think of ourselves as liberal-yuppie-I-love-everyone-peace-Obama-God-loves-us-all types but truth be told we are all (Malaysians) generally. We’re not. It's not to say that we’re Nazis at heart but we are so used to categorise people that we tend to do racial profiling subconsciously.

Come on, ask yourself this: have you ever at least once said something that goes along this line “Bloody hell stupid (insert race) (insert profanity) simply masuk with no signal your father own this road is it?” Given the quality of drivers in Malaysia and the quality of YOUR driving I doubt it has never spewed out of your mouth.

I’m fine with that; I am fine with Ms Ong complaining to me about my race because her dog got snatched away by MPAJ because her neighbour complained about it. I understand her predicament and I won’t be judgmental because if I were in the same shoes, I’d call MPAJ and have her dog taken away. After two weeks of listening to the damn dog barking at everything that moves and doesn’t move, I can tell you muhibbah can go fly kites.

So the question is how racist am I? Of course I am not some crazy ultra ideologist who believes that my race is superior to everyone else, and stab people randomly with my keris. Guns are much more efficient than a keris any given day. I believe that all men and women (before I am branded a chauvinist) are equal, with the exception of me. I believe that I am superior to everyone else, the rest are equally inferior to me. Ahem. Okay now that I have made myself clear, let’s get back to the main issue which is how racist I am. Well I’m not a Nazi that’s for sure, but I am however somewhat guilty of racial profiling. Okay maybe that’s too much, let’s put it as stereotyping; yes Zaidel is racist because he likes to stereotype various group of people just for the heck of it.

Zaidel's standard stereotyping

Malays — Lazy; kampung, rempit; believe in bomohs more than in doctors; are more concerned about buying a Mercedes than child education; gossipers; easy to bribe with money or women, tendency for divorce/affairs/messy love situations and slow/rude government servants. Oh, when a Malay man gets rich he would get a Datukship and marry an artiste (singer/actress/model).

Chinese — Ah Long, complain about the police being corrupt but when they get caught doing something wrong, first to bribe the officer; sport ridiculous hair colour, Japanese wannabes; must have an English name; gamblers, triad members, and ultimate dream in life is to migrate to Australia/Canada/New Zealand and become Gwailo.

Indians — Lawyers; hate darker Indians, gangsters, illegal parking attendants, drama queen, drunkards; love curry; overreact; good dancers; like wearing gold and excessive usage of the word "Macha" and "Bro".

In fact thanks to the years of propaganda of Petronas advertisements, I now automatically address Malays first, then Chinese and lastly Indians. Even though there are also other ethnicities in Malaysia, I am not bothered to type them here, tak boleh-lah. I have a limit word count here in TMI, just pick one of the main three.

ADMIT IT

Even you are somewhat racist aren't you? If a Malay student gets a scholarship it's because of the NEP, if prices go up it's the Chinese’s fault, and a drunk driver falling into the river? Must be an Indian.

But fear not.

I have come to the conclusion that all Malaysians, regardless of what race they may call themselves, are generally lousy idiotic suicide drivers who will speed up when the traffic light goes yellow, tailgate because they believe every inch counts, and seem not to realise this thing called signal lights. Kudos to my fellow Malaysians who become retards whenever they are on the road with the exceptional few who are much more civilised (like me). Indeed our driving has crossed the racial boundaries hence this epitomises the 1 Malaysia concept. In fact, when it comes to traffic lights we Malaysians are colour blind: literally, green is go, yellow is go faster and red is go when there are no cars.

Yes I admit it, I am somewhat racially perturbed sometimes. And I am sure most of you out there share this problem. However if we can joke about it then I think we’re quite fine. We can't help having these little thoughts but don't translate these thoughts to hatred. I may dislike Ms Ong’s dog but I happen to like Ms Ong. Don’t be a hater, because once it transcends into hatred then we would have a really big problem. It's good to be honest, and honestly I am sorry that sometimes I can't help but do these things. Really I do.

I promise you that in the end it doesn't really matter. Look I don't hate you because of the colour of your skin. If I were to hate you it’s because I think you are an idiot whose illogical opinions are best shared with Bill O’Reilly. That or you are a horrible driver. At least I am honest, I’m not one of those so-called racists who pretends to be a liberal (whatever that means). Notice how on the Internet people who use the nickname “Malaysian Something” to comment and start spewing out racist stuff. Hypocrites.

But, if there is one thing that I have totally erased from any form of racial stereotyping it would be... the women. I am totally liberal in that way. You know how some prefer a nice Malay girl or a polite Indian girl who is good with the family. Me, I am open to any... let her be Iban, Caucasian, Indian, Malay, Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Mongolian, Pinoy, Jewish, Arab, Persian, Martian, Anime character with blue hair and ridiculous body proportions. I promise you that I will always keep an open mind. I love women, all of them, regardless of the colour of their skin or where they come from. I don’t even mind if they are bad drivers.

CONCLUSION

Technically, when it comes to women I am totally non-racial. I am only racist to men. So that means that I am either a feminist or a lesbian. This is fine both ways for me. But seriously, my conclusion is feel free to make jokes, stereotype or make fun of each other. It’s fine to be a Malay, Chinese, Iban, Kadazan, Murut, Malaysian or whoever you may wish to be. Just keep in mind that people are different, like the spices that this great land is known so much for. Be proud of who you are, be proud of your culture, your identity and most of all be kind to your neighbour even if she has an annoying dog.

P.S: So ladies out there interested in some inter-racial inter…. err….. discourse, drop me a mail yeah atbathroomkaraoke@gmail.com — 1 Malaysia indeed.

Back to basics, back to BM.

Here we go again. Here come the racist chants. "Stupid Malays" "Lazy Malays who don't want to learn English" "Malays are lowering the standards of education in this country". Don't lie and tell me you haven't heard or read these phrases anywhere since the change was announced. It makes my blood boil and sizzle. Even though I blog in English, I have never abandoned my mother tongue and I think life is rather dull when I don't converse in it for a while. Even more ironically is that I was speaking English before I was speaking Malay but have never ever undermined my national language. Why? Because it is my identity, and yet there will always be these, Malaysian "posers" who dare call themselves Malaysian when they are openly undermining the national language as well as jeering the people who speak it.

The whole issue is large and if one desires to argue on the subject of learning science and maths in English or BM, we're going to need a very large board to place all our pro's and con's. This is where it kicks in, most people don't see this. I feel that most Malaysian's are born with a narrow mind. Why? Because time and time again we fail to see the larger picture. An example would be the poll on Tun Dr Mahathir's Blog, Che Det, which asked the people to vote whether they wanted the subjects to stay in English or revert to BM. Logically, only the people who have computers with internet access can vote, no? What about the people living in rumah kayu while still cooking using firewood with no fresh water supply? Do they have a say? When its their children who they work so hard for to send to school come home depressed to tell their parents they don't understand what their teacher is teaching at school? So in my opinion I declare the results of the poll, null, void, and useless.

It didn't stop at Che Det, there were other polls flying around and again I find it useless. Why do you want to do a poll in the city area where probably more than 80% of the inhabitants speak both languages? When you ask them then it most probably is an answer of convenience. Which language they use more or which language will make it easier for them in the future, they can afford the change either way. On the other hand, the kampung boy and girl continue to stone in class thanks to the goverment who was so enthralled by the idea of globilisation that they implemented a massive change without thinking long term and ended up looking sheepish. To the people who attack Malays for the change. Please hurry up and migrate to another country. Thanks.

Transformers

was a disappointment for me. Seriously what was Michael Bay thinking. If he wasn't a fan why did he take the bloody project in the first place, if he had no idea who the prolific Autobots were, if he had no idea what the original series was about. Turned it into a Hollywood no-brainer with no substance and a plot so full of holes rivaling a piece of old cheese. The Megan Fox wow-effect is getting old as well so he should stop cheapening movies by using chicks who can't really act and bombarding them with explosions and fight scenes, if i wanted non-end explosions i'd watch a fireworks show. I got more out of watching Star Trek, funny. And if you want to argue and call me an idiot. Please do, and please tell me why you find that this movie deserves higher than the embarrassing/humiliating/deserving score it obtained on Rotten Tomatoes.